Tales

Needle in a haystack

A knobhead was monopolising one of two ticket barriers this morning at Hammersmith station, get this, by rubbing a large rucksack all over the oyster reader to try and get a hit. Like he had a massive bag of potatoes at a supermarket self-service checkout... a bag of potatoes where the barcode was invisible.

People like that should be led into a pen and released only after 10am.

At 10am, the pen-people are released, thus creating a period after the rush hour called Pen's Labyrinth. The situation is akin to headless chickens being released into a maze.

Workers who have made it safely to their offices look upon the TfL service grid with glee, betting on which line will change from "good service" to "severe delays". A new economy is born.

At 11am everything goes back to normal.