Tales

Tube driver wit #1

*stopped in a tunnel*

"Good news ladies and gentlemen! We're stopped at a red signal! There is a train in front of us and the red signal is keeping us a safe distance apart."

Delivered with a mix of sanctimony and sarcasm.

There has been an obvious push in recent years to give tube passengers more information about the delays they experience. Consequently, every time a tube stops in a tunnel there is an announcement along these lines: 

"Apologies for the delay ladies and gentlemen, we're just held at a red signal and should be on the move shortly." 

Now, I appreciate the gesture, but as far as I'm concerned this is what they're actually saying: 

"I can see a shiny red thing. And red means stop." 

Really what I want is a reason as to why the red light is on. In the example above I think the driver is equally miffed that every time he has to stop at a red light, he is obligated to inform his passengers as to the concept of a traffic light.