A signal failure on the District line. Quelle surprise.
We're hovering antagonistically outside Wimbledon, the final stop of the line (I will later discover that we are waiting for one of four empty platforms to "become available").
It's a busy weekday morning and there's a man in the carriage who looks a bit like his conveyance via public transport was far from his first-choice mode of travel. He doesn't necessarily exhibit wealth - he's tanned, slim, camp and fashionable - but he looks like he has manipulated his existence, at great personal cost, to avoid such hardships as the tube.
Anyway. This delay is causing the poor lad considerable distress. If he was competing in a league with everyone in the carriage, to be most comfortable with the situation, he would be bottom of the relegation spots with no mathematical possibility of staying up. What's about to happen is an inevitability.
There are two key tremors that precede the earthquake of a tube outburst. They can appear in any order.
(A) Restlessness and agitation. This can manifest itself in many ways. Shuffling or banging of feet; rolling eyes; rotating on the spot. If the train is at a station then the person will go to the door and look in the direction of travel towards the driver, as if to say, "You haven't forgotten about us, have you?"
(B) An extremely loud and exasperated sigh. Lips wobbling like a horse impression.
Our protagonist today is very restless and very agitated. He's sighing and almost groaning too. The groan is what we're looking for - it indicates a desire to communicate further. Here it comes:
(C) The outburst.
And without further ado:
"I could walk it faster than this!"
He is looking around the carriage for some solidarity, but he is unfamiliar with the final piece of the jigsaw:
(D) The brick wall.
There is only one thing better than an angry tube outburst. And it's the brick wall it comes up against. Literally no-one replies, looks at him, or even acknowledges it. He is Patrick Swayze and he is surrounded by dozens of Demi Moores.
Absolutely classic. Well played London.