Piccadilly line, going west from central London, about 11pm.
I notice a young girl in her early 20s, small, slight figure. Quite cute, wearing a woollen dress and black leggings. She's got a small clutch and looks likes she's on her way home from a night out.
I notice her because she's cramped behind a couple of people near the end of the carriage, but at the next stop a few people alight. There's plenty of space now so she moves over to the window by the emergency exit, leaning against a cushion.
At this point, a guy, fairly stocky for his average size, mid-20s - wearing rubbish jeans and only a long-sleeved shirt to fend off the cold January air - sidles over to her as deftly as a penguin with no legs. He's absolutely hammered. He starts to say something but is immediately shot down.
"Go away!" She snaps.
He's so hammered, that as soon as the first syllable of the response comes out of her mouth, his attention immediately goes elsewhere. He's rocking, eyes closed, bouncing off the sides.
While the train is in tunnels he seemingly has other things on his mind, like staying upright, and trying not to puke. But as soon as the train pulls into a station you can see that a light bulb flickers inside his dulled brain.
"I'm going to talk to her." He thinks. And every time he thinks it, it's as if it's for the first time.
I'm concerned for her as this guy is clearly not capable of thinking straight. He's persistent and he's significantly bigger. At one stop he actually tries to usher her off the train. But she stands firm, and each time the guy placates to her authoritative tone.
I'm thinking about stepping in, but there's something a little odd about their interactions. She doesn't look particularly scared, just bothered and annoyed. And as the journey continues, it gradually becomes apparent that this guy isn't a stranger.
It's a good 10 minutes before I'm reasonably certain this poor girl is actually under some sort of obligation to put up with him. Boyfriend? Brother? Housemate? I don't know, they look like a very odd pair. She's almost a bit gothy, and he looks like a bit of a meathead. What I do know is that the relationship is definitely going to be soured come the fresh light of morning.
They alight at Earl's Court, the girl striding ahead to display her resentment of the situation, the boy struggling to follow. But she stops every few metres to check that he is still there. Which he sort of is.
A few less shandies next time mate.